A Lasting Principle: "Less is More"

I've spoken on this blog about leadership and courage. I've also mentioned brevity and how one of my personal goals is to learn to communicate, and live, more succinctly. I've come to believe that it adds little to the value of what we say or do when we wax verbose or long-winded in the process. It's a challenge for me, and for many of us, I think. "Less is more," though, or so they say ... but applying it in our lives can be challenging and elusive. (I once made a goal to keep emails I wrote to 100 words or less. It was tough; it was harder than just free-writing. I liked it, though, and I think folks appreciated it more; I may have to have a go at the goal again....).

Why is it exactly that less is usually more? How do we get there? I personally believe it's valuable in a lot of different areas: acquiring, consuming, even in our hobbies and our past-times. Lack of balance is rarely becoming; excessive behavior rarely leads to joy. We've all seen good and bad examples of this in our lives. The question is, are we learning from our own and others' experiences and mistakes?

"Less might be more" when our career or business is so demanding we find ourselves neglecting those most important to us. "Less might be more" when we spend too much time on the road ... or on the golf course ... or maybe at our favorite casino or fishing hole. Less is almost certainly more when it comes to more or less time with our kids (they say "it's all quality time to our children.") I really can't think of anything that counters this thought. Even less wealth or success may be desirable at times. (I can think of many high profile celebrities or entrepreneurs who would love to have the paparazzi disappear).

A bumper sticker I once saw echoes this premise: "You never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul trailer behind it." This concept applies both in life as well as in writing. Personally, I appreciate brevity and Hemingway's to-the-point approach, though I fall in the trap of Faulkner's more verbose style; it bothers me and is something I'm working to change. Hemingway's succinctness is a breath of fresh air and something I admire a great deal. I often tell my sales people to "take more out" rather than "add more in" (to their sales presentations). I need to follow my own advice. It's a better approach and a goal we should all seek after more in our lives.

One of the most memorable examples of brevity (and leadership) was given to us on November 19, 1863, the day Abraham Lincoln gave his famous Gettysburg Address. Just 1196 words long and it's one of the most famous speeches and documents of our time. And it is obviously to the point. It's actually a bit ironic, because Lincoln himself says in the speech that the world "will little note, nor long remember what we say here." He got that part wrong: the day and the document live indelibly in our minds.

The battle and President Lincoln's speech have long been remembered. The sacrifices that were made and the change in the war they affected were dedicated and consecrated by President's Lincoln's few short words. It did not take him thousands of pages to do it justice. He didn't wax long or eloquent trying to drive home his point. On the contrary, the simplicity of the speech is much of what helped to make it so strong. Extra verbiage would have muddied the water and likely detracted from the message. They would have tarnished the delivery, much like too much make-up or extra baggy clothing can often detract from an otherwise attractive woman.

I hope you enjoy the speech. I certainly did. I've read it before but it's been many, many years. I don't know if you've read it yourself or if it's been awhile as well. It's listed below in case you'd like to do so. It's short--less than 1,200 words, as I mentioned--yet powerful and unforgettable. It is quoted, referenced, remembered and revered. I've always loved it. This Friday last I was reminded of a couple of reasons why.

I won't go into details but suffice it to say that I was at my attorney's on Friday, finalizing the closure of a company I've owned and loved for the last few years. It's been 2 1/2 years since I started shutting it down following its demise due to the economy in early 2009. (Trust me: I speak from experience when I talk about resiliency and overcoming odds on this blog). So, I was reflecting on how hard I had worked at the business ... on all that it cost me ... and I looked up and saw the Gettysburg Address hanging on the wall; also this picture of President Lincoln. I was reminded once again that "less is usually more." More toys and accolades and appreciation or rewards will rarely add up to lasting peace and happiness in the end. In fact, on the contrary, I've found it is more often true that Triumph is missed when we inundate it with excess baggage. I hope to better emulate this truth.

It's late and I have certainly gone on long enough, exceeding Lincoln's address by several hundred words, even as I discuss the subject of brevity. Again, I'm trying to learn my own lessons.... Thanks for being patient while I figure it out.

Happy reading,

JP River


The Gettysburg Address: Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. ~ Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. ~ But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Even in Weakness: What's Your Excuse?

Yesterday's post was a proper tribute, I felt, to a young man who--even in weakness, even with a challenging disability (austism)--has chosen to adapt and overcome. He hasn't let his achilles heel slow him down. Instead, he's decided to Triumph over his affliction. It's a great reminder to us all of how we should not and cannot let life overwhelm us. All of the stories on this blog, the movies, books reviews, the people and examples, say the same thing: you can't beat us ... you won't get us down ... we won't let you kill us, no matter how hard you make it.

It's not easy. Sure, it's all well and good to talk about resiliency and achievement and principles like this when the skies are blue and the birds are singing. But, what about in the middle of the flood, when the rains are coming down, and your house is sliding into the creek? This is the time when our mettle is tested; this is the essence of our resolve.

What's great is that we are surrounded, even inundated, especially if we look for them, by examples that remind, inspire and encourage us to do the same. That's the whole reason I started this blog: I am amazed almost daily by the courage, strength and stamina of so many. They inspire me and make me want to do more myself, more to be courageous and strong.

Real quick, I want to share with you a movie clip from the recent block buster, Captain America: The First Avenger, starring Chris Evans as Steve Rogers [Captain America]. It teaches us a valuable lesson on how to Triumph even when we're not the strongest, smartest or most impressive in the bunch. Even when weak, we can still make a difference. I absolutely loved this scene.

The movie in general, I thought, was pretty well done. Like other Marvel Comic tales, it's a little superfluous at times, but the action was engaging and the filming quite interesting. Set in World War II, it's the story of a once-sickly soldier and his experience becoming Captain America, the "first super hero." What stood out to me during the film, and the reason I wanted to mention it here today, was a scene in which Colonel Chester Phillips, played by Tommy Lee Jones, and Dr. Abraham Erskine, played by Stanley Tucci, are debating over who will be the best choice for their Top Secret program, Project Rebirth. Colonel Chester sees only Steve's frail health and slight build and is still not convinced he's the right choice. Dr. Erskine on the other hand believes otherwise, convinced that the young private has the right stuff, the inner strength and character, they need and have been searching for.

So ... what is the right stuff, exactly? What is it, do you think, that really makes the biggest difference? Is it being taller, stronger, more handsome or charismatic? Is that what's most important? Dr. E doesn't think so and neither do I. He wants what he sees in Private Steven Rogers ... quiet, humble courage and commitment, not to mention unselfishness--three elements that show up in many of our Triumph Times examples. 

The question is answered and the movie line established when Steve , the "weakling," jumps on what he thinks to be a live grenade to shield it with his own body from his Army boot camp buddies. With zero thought for himself, he willingly sacrifices his own life to protect his friends, or at least he tries to. (Seems a recurring theme in our discussions as well, doesn't it ... the willingness to sacrifice our own desires for a greater good). The incident was actually a test to determine the merits of Steve and the rest of the bunch. The comparison between weak and skinny Steve Rogers and the others is even more pronounced when the other soldiers run or jump out of the way with little to no thought for anyone but themselves. 

Dr. Erskine teaches one of the most important lessons of all, when it comes to Triumph and success, when he says : "The weak man knows the value of strength, the value of power." Even in weakness ... even when we're afraid or overwhelmed ... we can overcome and stand strong. In fact, more often than not, it is in our weakness and humanity that we usually prevail. It's the stuff that Triumph eats, drinks, breathes and thrives on. It's the stuff most real heroes, in my experience, are made of.

I liked the movie. I loved this scene. Check it out at  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO6qu5fQLHo.

Take care and thanks for checking in,

JP Triumph 

Here's the full Captain America movie trailer. It's worth watching. Enjoy!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JerVrbLldXw

A Reminder of ... FAITH

Here's a great story about Triumph ... of the four (or should I say TWO)-legged variety. I thought you'd enjoy it. 

In life there are always undesirable things, so in order to feel better you just need to look at life from another direction. This dog was born on Christmas Eve in 2002. He was born with two legs. He, of course, couldn't walk. When he was born even his mother didn't want him.

But then, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met him and wanted to take care of him. His first owner didn't think that he could survive and he was thinking of just putting him to sleep. Jude became determined to teach and train this little dog to walk by himself.

She named him Faith and, in the beginning, put him on a surfboard to let him feel the up-and-down movement. Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure to reward him for standing up and jumping around. Even the other dog at home encouraged him.

Amazingly, after only six months Faith learned to balance on his hind legs and to jump to move forward. After further training in the snow, he could now walk just like a human. 

Faith loves to walk now. No matter where he goes, he attracts people to him. He is fast becoming famous worldwide and has appeared on multiple newspapers and TV shows.

There is now a book entitled "With a Little Faith," being published about him. He was even considered to appear in one of the Harry Potter movies. His present owner, Jude Stringfellow, has given up her teaching post and plans to take him around the world to teach that without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul. 

I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone and that everyone will appreciate and be thankful for each day. Faith is the continual demonstration of the strength and wonder of life."

 

A Nickname with History

I’m going to try to make these entries a little shorter as often as possible. I tend to wax long-winded at times and, I’m learning, you don’t need to be verbose to write something folks will enjoy reading. If I don’t keep them shorter, it's usually for a good reason, but these posts are going to show up few and far between. I don't want that. I’m going to do my best to be more succinct so you can see new updates more often. I have about a million topics I still would like to write on.

I thought I'd take a quick minute and explain why I've been called River or Riv, as a nickname, for the past decade or so. It all started after my unexpected divorce from my first wife, Asti. One minute I was married and working away at it (with all its ups and downs), the next minute I came home from a business trip to find my home gutted and my world torn in half. [In Asti's defense, she was very fair when she chose to skedaddle. She carefully divided our books, movies, and other belongings in half and left all the ones she knew I liked and took only the ones she preferred and knew I didn't care for; "gutted" probably isn't the most appropriate word]. I can remember clearly the dust outlines, though, around where pictures she’d taken had hung. It’s an image that stays with me and even haunts me at times today.  

Asti and I completed an amicable, though devastating (to me), dissolution of marriage ... mostly through email. I've only seen her once (on accident; at a concert in Utah; we didn't speak) since the day she made love to me the night before, kissed me goodbye and said she'd see me in a week. I came home expecting a wife who, though struggling, was hanging in there … but instead found a house and home that were suddenly empty of the best part.

Fast forward a year and I decided to relocate from Anchorage, Alaska to Vancouver, Washington to work for Dennis Burback and the Trendwest Resorts office there. My brother Adam and his wife Kimmy, together with my sister Chi and her little boy Mejai, all moved down together. We got three apartments in the same complex and Adam went to work for Trendwest too. I went to work on my new life and prospects, primarily on myself. 

You see, Asti's and my divorce was a sum result of several things, as most dissolutions are, I'm sure. She had an emergency surgery that wreaked havoc on her emotions, and our marriage. This is true. But we were already struggling ... mostly because of me, I hate to say—my issues with anger, my immaturity, my struggles with self esteem, and so forth. Long story short, even though we had been friends for years—ever since high school—our marriage was in turmoil, and I didn't really blame her. She was a great woman, doing the best she could, working with a guy who had a lot of baggage (as we all do, unfortunately). In the letter she left sitting on our kitchen counter, the one I found when I came home to our empty house, she said "I love you but I can't be with you. I need to work on my own issues and I'm not willing to do that and be married to you at the same time." Can I just say ... I read the letter, reeling, and spent the night in shock, lying on the linoleum floor in our kitchen. 

So ... I was now in Washington State, trying to sell timeshare for Trendwest and really questioning what had gone wrong. How did my marriage fail? Why did I feel angry so much of the time? How could I overcome it? What could I try to do differently in any future relationship...? (the irony of this statement is that I recently went through a second divorce; though I’ve learned a lot in the last ten years, and I really tried to be a good husband and father, I'm still learning and still trying to Triumph over myself; still not quite there quite yet, I guess; I think it will take a lifetime to fully get there).

I say all this just to make myself clear: I understand pain … I know what loss feels like … I’ve had my own share of challenges and hurts … and I continue to learn greater resiliency and stick-to-it-iveness, year in and year out. 

One day, there in Washington, I was reading a book about the life of Christ called Fishers of Men. While doing so I came across a quote by Alexander the Great: "The deepest rivers flow with the least sound." This quotation struck me with great force and I shared it with my parents in one of my emails home. It seemed to say to me that the deeper the PERSON, the less "SOUND" (i.e. grumbling, complaining, whining or yelling) they make. In other words, the deeper YOU are, the less you let things GET TO YOU. It's a great reminder, and it is so true. My parents agreed, adding their own insights to the analogy. 

Well, I'm not sure who started it—it was either my mom or my dad, or maybe both—but they started referring to me as Riv shortly thereafter and I guess it stuck. They said they did it because they thought I was really embodying the quote. They liked what they saw. I don’t know if that’s true, but I did like the nickname because it served as a reminder of who I WANTED to be. It helped me focus more on my goal to become that man ... more patient, more mature, the kind of person who is deeper than the trials he faces. This, in my mind, is one of the key characteristics of someone Triumphing over life. It's one of my goals, to embody the principle more. It's a lifetime process, as I mentioned.

There's a great quote by the founder of the LDS church, Joseph Smith, that also complements this principle well. He writes, "Deep water is what I am wont to swim in. It all has become a second nature to me; and I feel, like Paul, to glory in tribulation; for to this day has the God of my fathers delivered me out of them all…." (Doctrine & Covenants 127). It’s a good testament to resilience and faith, to "running deep" as it were ... a good reminder for us all, whether you're a Mormon, Christian, Atheist, what have you.

If you're familiar with his history, you know that Joseph Smith actually gave his life for what he believed. He hung in there in the  face of terrible persecution (he and his older brother Hyrum were both martyred in Carthage, Illinois on June 27, 1844). They sealed their testimony with their blood. That we might have the same conviction in whatever we set out to do, that we too might "Triumph" in our own ways, is my hope. 

Here's to hope, 

J. Patrick “River” Laing 

Quotable Quote: Winston Churchill

I've always loved the statement by Winston Churchill that is usually quoted as "Never, never, never give up" or "Never, never, never quit." I even have it on my key chain as a daily reminder. The quote actually originates, from my research, from a speech he gave to the students of Harrow School in Middlesex, England, October 29, 1941.

I thought you might enjoy seeing it in its original context. As World War II was still raging on, this Triumphant leader inspired his countrymen to dig in and not give in. He inspired them and reminded them of just how powerful and capable they were, even in the face of incomparable odds.

Here's the speech, followed by a short bio on Mr. Churchill.

Never Give In, Never, Never, Never

Speech given at Harrow School, Middlesex, October 29, 1941

"When Churchill visited Harrow on October 29 to hear the traditional songs again, he discovered that an additional verse had been added to one of them. It ran:

Not less we praise in darker days
The leader of our nation,
And Churchill's name shall win acclaim
From each new generation.
For you have power in danger's hour
Our freedom to defend, Sir!
Though long the fight we know that right
Will triumph in the end, Sir!

You cannot tell from appearances how things will go. Sometimes imagination makes things out far worse than they are; yet without imagination not much can be done. Those people who are imaginative see many more dangers than perhaps exist; certainly many more than will happen; but then they must also pray to be given that extra courage to carry this far-reaching imagination. But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period - I am addressing myself to the School - surely from this period of ten months this is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

We stood all alone a year ago, and to many countries it seemed that our account was closed, we were finished. All this tradition of ours, our songs, our School history, this part of the history of this country, were gone and finished and liquidated. 

Very different is the mood today. Britain, other nations thought, had drawn a sponge across her slate. But instead our country stood in the gap. There was no flinching and no thought of giving in; and by what seemed almost a miracle to those outside these Islands, though we ourselves never doubted it, we find ourselves in a position where I say that we can be sure we have only to persevere to conquer.

You sang here a verse of a School Song: you sang that extra verse written in my honour, which I was very greatly complimented by and which you have repeated today. But there is one word in it I want to alter - I wanted to do so last year, but I did not venture to. It is the line: "Not less we praise in darker days."

I have obtained the Head Master's permission to alter darker to sterner. "Not less we praise in sterner days."  Do not let us speak of darker days: let us speak rather of sterner days. These are not dark days; these are great days - the greatest days our country has ever lived; and we must all thank God that we have been allowed, each of us according to our stations, to play a part in making these days memorable in the history of our race."

Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill - biographical sketch

The Right Honourable Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill is generally regarded as one of the most important leaders in British and world history.  An accomplished speaker, author, painter, soldier and war reporter, the mere sight of him, with the characteristic Cuban cigar in his mouth and two fingers raised in the “V for victory” sign encouraged the population. He was John Bull, a British mythical character and the symbol of the common people, come to life. With a powerful command of the English language, he wrote histories and biographies. Churchill served his country from 1895 to 1964. At 78, he won the Nobel Prize for Literature. In 1963, at the age of 88, the US Congress conferred on him honorary American citizenship.

Churchill died at the age of 90 with his wife and other family members at his bedside. His remains lay in state in Westminster Hall for three days—an honor not accorded any English statesman since Gladstone in 1898. The funeral followed at Saint Paul's cathedral.

By the way, two other Churchill quotes give us additional insight into the man. I appreciate them both. He said "History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." The writer in me of course loves this.... He also stated, "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." Sounds to me like Sir Churchill had his priorities straight, and was a not just a statesman but also a talented salesman.

Cheerio.... JPR

Welcome to Triumph Times

I posted the following on my Facebook page a few days ago. It probably says better than anything why I've started this blog and hope to contribute to it on an ongoing basis:

I'm going to start a new blog on Endurance and Thriving (versus just surviving). It's going to discuss subjects like faith and expectation, progress over perfection, commitment, building resiliency, etc., etc. I plan to highlight books like Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell, and Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl, etc. We'll discuss various speakers, movies, historical figures and the like, not to mention movies like 17 Miracles, Invictus, Fireproof, and more.

For years people have wondered about and even shaken their head at my knack for seeing the silver lining on every cloud--my ability for being "resilient," if you will. I think I was born with it, to a large degree, but I've also learned a lot from a lot of different people about how to make it a part of me and work better in my life.

I really want to WRITE ... so this is partly selfish, of course, but my real hope is that this blog can inspire others and help them find solace, hope and encouragement as they go through their own dose of challenges, trials and hurts.

No matter your faith, your focus, your family background or your fears ... we can all stand to face our struggles with a few extra strengths and tools in our bag. Hopefully this blog can help and we can share, discuss and debate in good spirit and, in the process, all grow a little more resilient along the way (this will be more of a forum and a discussion group, ideally, than just a monologue from me; I really want your input)! Please take a sec to comment or hit Like if you think you'd take the time to follow such a blog.

Personally, I think we quit or give up too quickly too often. Even with as optimistic as I am, I've done the same thing in my life at times. With very few exceptions (serious abuse and the like), I personally think Winston Churchill had the right idea: "Never, never, never give up." It is in the stretching and the hard times that we truly grow and BECOME. Keep watching. I'll post the address and the blog itself here very soon. Onward and upward. JPL

SInce I posted this a week ago, I've given a lot of thought to what I wanted to put into this blog. I’ve polled a number of people, I've received some great comments and feedback, and I even prayed about it and pondered on it awhile.... (can I say prayer without turning people off? I hope so). I really do believe that many of us are looking for answers to how to do / be / accomplish more in our lives. Whether this refers to your finances, your relationships, your aspirations or other goals, it doesn't really matter. The same principles apply, I believe, and there are countless examples of what I call "Umphers" (those who've triumphed) throughout history and even today's society. I decided that TRIUMPH was the perfect theme. 

Don't be surprised to see a few movie and book reviews, biographical sketches, historical treatises and stories from the news. I'm going to include favorite quotes, start a few forums and get input from those who want to share; I ask for your insights into what you're learning and continuing to learn that seems to make a difference. Yes, I'm an optimist ... but I didn't get there over night. And I really am still not where I want to be. 

Most of all, I personally want to keep learning and growing in this vein. I can't imagine a reason why anyone wouldn't feel the same. So ... whether you're an optimist, a realist or even a pessimist, I look forward to sharing and learning together. Welcome to "The Times...." It's not The New York Times or the LA Times but, give it some time. You never know what's possible...? ;0) A massive oak grows out of a tiny acorn, right? Strap on your seat belts. There are few things I enjoy more than writing and helping others (being with my kids is one thing). Don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to the ride.