The Epitome of Triumph: My Hero

You know, there a lot of different kinds of Triumph in the world. Successes in business, kids doing well in school, disabilities being overcome and challenges being challenged. We see examples every day: inspiring stories / people / programs and marriages that--despite the odds--keep surviving and even beating the odds. The list goes on and we've touched on many of these in The Triumph Times. We all have experienced, observed and likely participated in our own share.

What I've learned in my own life, especially this past few years, is that few Triumphs are cut-and-dried, black and white, simple or "cookie-cutter clean." Most are steeped in trial and pain, frustration and disappointment, struggles, set-backs and a large dose of growing and learning. That has certainly been the case for me. This past year has been one of the toughest and also one of the best in my 43 years. It's been a year of highest-highs and lowest-lows. It's been a period of heart-ache, heart-burn and many different happinesses blended into one. It's been a year of Triumph--a year of growth and reflection, adjustment and adaptation. In many respects, it's been a year of "reconnection" and, at the very least, a year I'll not soon be forgetting.

Speaking of reunions, I wanted to announce (if you haven't heard already) that I got remarried on March 17th of this year (2012)--Saint Patrick's Day! To make a long story short, my best friend from a decade ago, my former fiancé that "didn't work out" the first time around, came back into the picture and she and I reconnected late last fall and over the holidays (2012). We reignited the spark that first saw light many years ago. We "re-began" a journey we both have missed, even in silence, for a long time now.


Her name is Tessha, formerly Tessha THOMAS, and she'll tell you that ten years ago she thought we were just "postponing" our engagement--"putting it on hold," as it were, while she finished her last semester of college. I thought we were breaking up (I'm a little bit slow sometimes....). It was a pretty big breakdown in communication, to say the least. But, as a result, I went on to marry Emily, my former wife and the mother of my children, and stayed married for 9 years. I became a dad to five great kids, for which I'll always be grateful. When Emily and I divorced, Tessha and I reconnected. And now? We're married ... and we even got married on St. Patrick's Day (imagine that). :0) I guess what I'm saying is, the Lord works in mysterious ways. I never imagined us back together again--but here we are and we're very happy to be here. We're grateful to have finally "figured it out," even a little later than we originally planned.

As the old saying goes, "Better Late Than Never." It's very true in our case. All I know is, from the moment she came back into my life, it's felt like old times all over again, like we never went our separate ways. We've picked up where we left off; at least, it's certainly felt that way. And now, we're working out the kinks and curls that make up a new marriage, we're working on parenthood and step-parenthood, fatherhood and "bonus-mom-hood" to five teens and preteens ... and dealing with the complexities of making it all work. It's been an adventure thus far and it's just getting started. What can I say, it's a story of Triumph ... and Tessha is my Hero.

She is triumphing over 10 years of loneliness, confusion, and in many ways, regret. She's forgiving and forgetting and moving forward, in faith. She's getting to know my children and doing an amazing job serving them, figuring them out and trying to love them each in their own way for who they each are. She's Triumphing over the challenge of it all, and the complexities inherent therein. She triumphs, in my mind, every time she seeks to serve, work well with and get to know my ex wife. Their dynamics and relationship, like any blended family, are a work in progress and can be challenging at times. But, I'm impressed with both of them and especially Tessh and how she / they are learning to work together, compromise and communicate well.

Tessha's really great. She is the most loving, most selfless, kind and patient person I've known--and not just with me and the kids, but with everyone she meets. Every time I turn around, it seems, she's serving someone, thinking of them, helping others to Triumph over what they're going through. Whether it's a friend of ours with heart problems or another who just lost her husband; whether it's her dad and his health or her mom and her burdens ... or total strangers who just need a friend, a guide, a comforting word or a morsel of bread ... Tessha just serves them and reminds me of what true Triumph means--"Triumphing" over selfishness, pettiness--basically, anything that gets in the way of true, unconditional service. She's a great example to me, not only of Triumph, but also of Truth. She's as authentic, as genuine and as honest, as they get.

Okay ... so, I'm probably sounding too sappy, too personal, so I'll stop. I just wanted you to meet her. The eldest of 10 children ... my best friend ... a great "bonus mom" to my kids: she is the primary reason these last 12 months have had their share of "ups" along with the "downs." I really think she saved me this past year, in many respects. I just wanted her to know how much it's meant and how much she and all of it continues to mean.





Tessha ... I love you. I appreciate you very much. This tribute is for you, baby. I can't imagine going through the next ten years, not to mention the forty after them, without you by my side. I look forward to TRIUMPHING over whatever life throws at us, and doing so together. Thanks for believing in me.


Here's to you, Tessherina.

Here's to Triumph.

Patrick-Riv

The Man, the Myth, the Legend--the Father of a Nation

This last week marked the "end" of an incomparable legacy of service, strength and character. My grandfather, Charles William ("Bill") Laing, of whom I've written previously, finally "graduated" peacefully and passed away August 9th, 2012. We celebrated his life at a beautiful service last Monday that was both touching and inspiring. It was a perfect reminder of a man who spent his whole life quietly triumphant--my biggest hero and idol (next to my dad, of course, Grandpa's eldest son, which makes sense if you think about it; they're cut from the same cloth, as anyone who knows them will attest). 

I won't make this too long but I did want to quickly reference a thought one of my uncles shared during his tribute to Grandpa at the funeral. He spoke of George Washington, the first U.S. president, and compared him to my grand dad, speaking of Grandpa as the "father of our 'nation,'" our "Laing Family Nation." He went on to  mention several ways in which George Washington was  key to the success of this country. We refer to GW as the Father of our Nation, with good reason. My grandpa, Charles William, embodies the same characteristics. Here are 3 examples of many, 3 ways in which made an impact and so deservedly enjoy this title of respect. 

1.  Example: George Washington led by example. He didn't just talk about standing up to the British. He didn't just stand on a soap box and preach against taxation without representation. He led, suffered, and overcame together with his troops. His was "faith in action," not just rhetoric or indignation. He was a great leader but perhaps the best thing he did, as most Umphers do, was lead by example. He "Did," he didn't just "Talk." As commander in chief of the Continental Army, he wasn't afraid to get into the trenches and get dirty when he had to. The nation showed him their thanks by electing him unanimously as our first U.S. President in 1788 and naming our Capitol and the State of Washington after him; he served for two consecutive terms. 

2.  The second way George Washington made such an impact, in my opinion, as did my grandpa, was with their faith. We've all heard stories of GW praying with his troops, of humbly petitioning help, and of him turning to the Lord for guidance in the face of their almost insurmountable odds. One of my favorite GW prints hangs in our home--the picture above--of him praying in Valley Forge by his horse. I just love the imagery, and the message. George Washington reminded us that we are watched over by and dependent upon, as he saw it, a Father above--one who had a literal hand in the establishment of this nation, where freedom of religion, speech and so many others could finally exist.

As one of our nation's founding fathers he helped draft the Declaration of Independence, and set up a nation FOUNDED upon the lasting principles espoused therein. True, we've strayed from them in ways, today. But, GW and his compatriots gave us the roadmap, the "blue print," for success. George Washington knew that faith in God and adherence to his principles was and needed to be at the very heart of our nation's success. My Grandfather Bill taught his family the same things--and his six boys and one daughter have passed those principles along to me and all the cousins, grand children, great grand kids and (just recently) one great-GREAT grand daughter baby girl. We continue to benefit from his example. 

3.  The third way I feel George Washington--and my grandfather, as well--led so valiantly throughout both of their lives, was by speaking up, by bearing witness when they could and by sharing their convictions whenever the opportunity to do so presented itself. President Washington obviously did this--he spoke out against tyranny, he helped draft the Declaration, he stood up for what he knew to be good and true and right. He never backed down, and he inspired a nation in the process. That, more than anything, I believe, is the mark of an Triumphant leader. Not only do you lead by example, not only do you do the right thing--but you inspire OTHERS to do the same, to FOLLOW your example, and to "take up arms" with you if they must. A truly Triumphant leader is just that--a LEADER, a mentor, someone who inspires you to follow ... a leader who through his or her examples inspires you to live your life the same way.


My Grandpa Bill did this same thing throughout his life. And he did so very quietly. He didn't need a bull-horn or a soap box. He spoke and people listened; even in a whisper, even in his last few hours, after cancer had ravaged his body. It's hard to explain, but you couldn't help but want to stop and pay attention to him, whenever he spoke. Now, I obviously never knew George Washington the way I knew my Grandpa Bill, but I can imagine that he was much the same, a man who caught your attention whenever he spoke or even walked into a room. He didn't demand your respect; people just gave it to him, freely. You knew you could trust him, that he had your best interest at heart; you knew he could teach you and mold you into a better man or woman, or country. And he did exactly that.

Obviously, I'm guessing here. I didn't know GW though I've studied his life and have continually been impressed by the example and the legacy that he left. And, it is a legacy that continues to shine forth as a beacon of hope to the world to this day. My grandpa's legacy, though not nearly as vast or well-known, shines brightly as well, with a family of well adjusted, contributing, and decent descendants dotting the globe. We too have been touched by him and we too are overcoming ... his legacy lives on, and I will be ever grateful to be a part of it all.

Thank you, Grandpa. We'll never forget you. We ARE you, and we're truly grateful every day.

As mentioned before, my grandpa was told he had just a few short months to live almost 2 1/2  years ago. He never gave up easily; he went down fighting and, just as always, he inspired us all as he did. His was a legacy of which all of us are ever proud. He was a true Umpher, a triumphant father, grandfather, neighbor, bishop and friend. I'll always be grateful for his example, his faith and his conviction.

Thank you for listening and my apologies for how long it's been since I last wrote. A divorce last year, a new marriage this year, a new position at work, two funerals and five busy kids. As I'm sure you understand, time gets away from you.

I'll try to do better.

Triumphantly,

JP River

"Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"

September 11, 2001: it's a day none of us of this generation will forget anytime soon ... our own Pearl Harbor, and right in our front yard--New York City. I can still remember sitting on the couch that morning, watching the news, barely breathing, practically motionless as I listened to the reports, shocked that it was actually happening here in the U.S. of A.

I was in Anchorage, Alaska that day ... a whole continent away. The whole day left me speechless, reeling and (like most of us) very much in shock. Even with all I felt and experienced, I can hardly imagine what it must have felt like to be a resident of New York that day. Our hearts--those of the whole nation--went out to our brothers and sisters there, and still do. I still marvel and wonder, considering the burdens I'm sure they carry, and probably will for a very long time to come.


Tonight I'm in Atlanta, traveling as usual, for my job as a national sales trainer. I decided to catch a movie after my work day last night and I went and saw the recent Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock film, "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close." While it isn't a film about 9/11, per se, it does tell the story of a young boy who loses his father (Tom Hanks) in the collapse of one of the Twin Towers. He goes on a journey of self-discovery as he searches all over New York City trying to find the lock for a key his late father left behind. It is a touching and thought provoking journey, and also--I thought--a remarkable acting job for a young, new actor ... the 2010 Jeopardy! Kids Week winner, Thomas Horn.

Besides the fact that the film had some wonderful shots of New York City, not to mention some powerful acting by all involved (Max Von Sydow, for example, was amazing as the boy, Oskar's, neighbor), what struck me the most was the way the movie evolved and addressed the mourning so many New Yorkers have had to deal with and are probably still struggling with in ways today. It did bring Oskar closure in the end, I felt, but it also had a far deeper, farther-reaching and more universal effect. It reached out and touched everyone, including the audience. It certainly touched me in the process.

Triumph is so often an difficult and cathartic experience, whether it's the positive kind (like achieving a success) or the more trying kind (working through a tragedy like this). My own opinion is that both kinds of triumph are positive because both bring about change and growth; both initiate coming to know ourselves better. I think that's why most of us love coming of age films, underdog movies and dramas or tragedies that end up inspirational in the end. "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" was all three of these for me. It made me appreciate more all that New York and its citizens have gone through, on a much deeper level. It also made me look at grief and the grief process differently as well, I think. It helped me understand Triumph on a whole different level as well. I think the film made me more sensitive in ways. What can I say but that I'm very grateful I saw it.

You might disagree. You might find it a little slow and even contrived at times; it's both of these in ways. But, I also found it insightful and triumphant. I hope you'll go see it and see for yourself. Please post a comment if you do and let me know what you thought of it. It's "extremely poignant," if nothing else.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_quK9SEGYE

Enjoy and here's to LIVING LIFE, the good days and the bad days, "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close!"

Tennyson, Travel, Tessha and Triumph

I'm going to make this post short because I'm running out the door to go teach a training class to a bunch of Jacuzzi walk-in bathtub reps here Dallas, Texas. In the last 3 weeks I've been in Denver, Austin, Chicago, Dallas, Little Rock and of course home in Portland, Oregon to see my kids between each trip. In the next 3 weeks I'll be in Portland, Seattle WA, Indianapolis, Atlanta, DC and ... who knows where else? Needless to say, I'm racking up the air miles. And, you know? I'm enjoying the solitude, the time to myself, to write, the seeing new places and meeting new people. I'm enjoying the TRAVEL, though I do miss my kids and miss seeing my girlfriend. It does wear me out every few days or so. 

Skyping with my kids

Like I said in my last post, Emily (my "former wife") and I are getting along pretty well ... the children are doing great ... my job is going well and I'm dating [once again] my sweetheart from over a decade ago. That couldn't be going better (my 5 year old said to her the other day he wants her to "be ours step mom someday."  [sic] She liked the thought.... :0) The kids really seem to like her a lot. We'll see where it goes.... By the way, her name is Tessha.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

As I mentioned, I need to hurry, but let me share with you three quotes I just love that I feel are appropo' to everything going on right now in my life. I hope they are for you as well. Have a great day and "here's to Triumph in all we do."

Jack London

Personally? I know you'll do just fine ... whatever you, yourself, are going through. We're not quitters, right? And tomorrow, a new day, is just a night away.


"Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering 'it will be happier.'" Alfred Lord Tennyson


"Don't loaf and invite inspiration; light out after it with a club." Jack London.

What a great reminder. And finally....

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." Albert Camus.

Albert Camus

I love all three of these Triumph quotes. Have hope ... don't be afraid ... and realize just what you are capable of and just what "lies within you." You can do it. I just know it. The stuff of Triumph.... it's what we're ALL made of. It lies within us ALL. We each have divine potential within. 

Trust me. It is absolutely true.

Until next time ... Patrick-Riv

"Theirs a Problem With Youre Email" (sic)

A lot of folks these days are unemployed or underemployed. We’re looking for new or better jobs … for ways to “Triumph” more in our careers. It’s a tough market out there and we need every bit of help we can find. Following is just that—an informative help I received this morning from one of the newsletters to which I subscribe. I found it both insightful and entertaining. If it helps you or you can pass it along to someone who it does, I’ll be grateful. For many of us, if we’re not Triumphing in our work or professional lives, it’s difficult to be able to focus and do so in other areas as you know.

Mark Cenedella, CEO of The Ladders, an online job search assistance service, wrote the following on how to make your resumes and cover letters more effective. It agrees with my recent comments on focusing on what’s important and on being more concise in what we write. “Less is more” is usually true, as I keep saying. I continue to try learning this myself.

Enjoy the lesson. It’s a good reminder for us all.

SIMPLER IS SAFER, by Mark Cenedella

"A lot of the bad e-mails I see aren't bad because the person writing them is unintelligent. Quite the opposite. They are bad because an intelligent person is trying to say too much, in too complicated a way, with too many words, in a bid to sound qualified for the job.

But that is just exactly the wrong approach. Because, in fact, what employers and hiring managers are looking for is somebody who can communicate clearly and effectively. Rarely do long, complicated words and complex sentences make you sound easy-to-understand.

And those longer, more turgid e-mails have a much higher chance of a misspelling, grammar mistake, or unclear meaning, than a simple e-mail.

It reminds me of a famous exchange between two Nobel Peace writers, William Faulkner (famous for complex, dense prose) and Ernest Hemingway (who rarely used words greater than two syllables): Faulkner: "Hemingway has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." Hemingway: "Poor Faulkner! Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" 

If you're trying to get a job, simple, clear communication is far more effective than big five-dollar words.

As an example, which of these two people would you rather hire?

Sally Simple writes, "I work well with teams that might not necessarily like each other in order to get them to understand the other side's viewpoint. I like to use a bit of humor so that we can all work well together and be successful as a company."

While Terry Turgid elucidates, "My background indicates a capability to bring together disparate elements of the organizational structure in which inherent tensions arise due to the substance of the work output, the cross-utilization of organizational resources, and competition for allocations and prioritizations that occur as a result. And I try to always be ready with a quip or bon mot in order to enable those elements to optimize their effort co-ordination and process implementation in order to achieve synergistic outcomes on behalf of the global organization."

Now both of those say the same thing (I think), but which candidate would you put in charge of getting sales and marketing to work together? Or leading the product and logistics groups on an important new initiative?

I'll take Sally Simple every time.

Okay, folks, that's my two bits on e-mails.

I hope you have a clearly successful and simply wonderful week!

I'm rooting for you,

Marc Cenedella, CEO & Founder" 

TheLadders.com is a private United States-based company providing an online job search service. It launched listing only vetted job offers with annual salaries of $100,000 or more. On 19 September 2011 they removed the $100k minimum salary requirement, opening the site to jobseekers who didn't meet the previous experience/value qualification. Unlike other employment sites that charge companies to post entries, TheLadders.com charges both job seekers and employers for their listings, and states that they confirm the authenticity and quality of each listing on the site.

Responsibility and "Triumph Insurance"

I actually don't think I'm going to write (at least not often) on Saturdays or Sundays. Everybody needs a day off and I have five busy children who need my attention at gymnastics and soccer and so forth when I'm actually in town. They like having me present and I think that five days a week is probably enough writing. So, I'm writing to say I'm not going to be writing, at least not on the weekends, at least not until or unless I feel duly impressed that something just has to be said and cannot wait until the coming Monday.

For today, I do want to "break with tradition" and write on the weekend, sharing with you a quick  insight that came to me this afternoon. It's about responsibility—I guess because I spent most of the day with my children and was reminded how much responsibility I have to them and we all have to those we have stewardship over and responsibility for. Whether that's your kids, your partner, your employees or whoever ... a big part of leading a "Triumphant" life is being a “pattern of Triumph” that others can learn from … of doing what it takes to make a difference in others’ lives. Only then have we truly Triumphed, at least in this "Umpher's" opinion.

I think it's fair to say that no one can ever, truly say they've Triumphed without having helped a few others along the way, and oftentimes many ... in business, marriage, parenthood, entertainment, innovation, education, or what have you. TRIUMPH, by its very nature, adds to and amplifies the lives of those it touches. We Triumph most when WE touch one another (and I'm not talking foot rubs or bear hugs). You know what I'm getting at.

The following ad from Liberty Mutual Insurance is an effective reminder of this truth. I get emotional almost every time I see it. 

Hey, have a nice weekend, everybody. It's already half-way over but I'm still going to enjoy the rest thoroughly. I hope you do too. Don't forget to watch the clip.

Live responsibly....

Patrick-Riv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw97CfZtyGw&feature=related

A Lost Boy and a Joint Rescue Effort

It’s late and I got home a short while ago from watching a great sci-fi movie called “In Time” tonight, starring Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried. It’s a futuristic film about how the rich have unlimited “time accounts” and the poor "run out of time" at the age of 25, or (usually) go on to live day-to-day trying to make their last few hours stretch. It was a new twist on the old dilemma of and juxtaposition between the incredibly wealthy and all the rest of us.

There are lots of reasons for mentioning this concept in this blog … “using our time well,” “not wasting a minute,” “choosing wisely where we focus our time and efforts” (all good Triumph principles), etc., etc. It wasn’t what I would call a terribly uplifting movie, but it was entertaining. I actualliy want to write on another topic, though, tonight, a story I just saw on CNN tonight.

As you’re seeing, if you’re following this blog at all, there isn’t a specific format or outline that I’m following in my posts. Quotes, historical figures, current events, movie reviews—they’re all options. Anything that strengthens, motivates, encourages or inspires is fair game. One thing’s for certain: I have an unlimited number of topics to choose from and discuss. (The only thing I’m hoping for is that more of you start commenting; as much as I like talking, I don’t like feeling I’m the only voice being heard).

Take this story from CNN.com that I stumbled across this evening—speaking of racing against time. This young autistic boy was just found, having survived five days lost in a Civil War park in Central Virginia (North Anna Battlefield Park). He was found alive this afternoon at a nearby quarry, authorities said, “lying in a fetal position in a creek bed about a mile away from where he'd wandered off.” He was flown by helicopter to a nearby hospital, where he was reunited with family and “appeared to be in good shape.” Get this: the boy is autistic … non-verbal … went five days without food or shelter. It’s a wonder he was fine. He is obviously a fighter, an “Umpher,” as we call them on this blog, even if he can’t speak or write or get up and give a speech about it personally.

The most Triumphant part of this story, despite the boy’s personal sacrifice and effort, in my opinion, lies in the fact that about 6,000 VOLUNTEERS showed up and helped out with the search over the last 5 days, along with “about 300 professional searchers in the park and surrounding areas, Hanover County authorities said” (quoted from CNN.com). They literally had to turn volunteers away, not because they didn’t want them, but because they couldn’t support them all. This is another great reminder regarding Triumphant results. We all know this but it’s good to have another example...! 

Often times, for us to Triumph personally, we need a helping hand to make it come to pass. This little boy was lost; a lot of us feel the same way in life. He was "hungry, cold and thirsty;" I think so many of us can relate—in our relationships, our careers, or our financial prospects, and more. I personally have, on many occasions throughout my life, felt this way. Literally or metaphorically, we find ourselves in need of being warmed or filled at times. In my experience, I have often been helped, assisted and “filled” by strangers who often never even knew the role they played. Other times it was the direct result of a friend or loved one reaching out. Both were very much appreciated.

I’m grateful for their help and I'm sure many of us can relate. We've all given and received help, both intentional and not. It's one of the beautiful things that keeps this world of ours going around. 

Let me just end by just saying that, whether you’re the contributor or the beneficiary, the “filler” or the “fillee,” as it were, it’s valued. We’re all in this together. And, if we look for ways to help each other out even more, to accept help when it’s offered, to work together and be there for each other, we will never regret it. It is absolutely a key to helping all of us Triumph here in life. 

I hope we’ll all look for more ways to make this a high-frequency occurrence. Best wishes to Robert Wood Jr. and his family. Your son inspires us, as do the thousands of volunteers who came to your aid. We’re grateful for your story … and the way that it turned out.

Welcome home, Robert.... John Patrick “River” Laing

Quotable Quotes: John F. Kennedy

I'm big on quotes. You're going to see a lot of them on this blog. The power of words cannot be overstated. One of my all-time favorites is the second quote, below, which has been attributed to President John F. Kennedy. (It certainly sounds like him).

JFK proved to us all the strength of a goal when he said we'd be on the moon in the next 10 years; we did it in 8. On May 25, 1961, before a joint session of congress, he stated:

"I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the Moon and returning him safely to the Earth." President John F. Kennedy

40 years later, the U.S. moon landing its still one of the most incredible Triumphs of the modern age. This isn’t my favorite quote, though. The one I’m referring to is below. It reads: 

“Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.” President John F. Kennedy

I love that. That's what I'm talking about…. Night everybody. JPR

Bill and Grace Laing ... A Quiet Legacy

Speaking of legacies, I wanted to give a quick tribute to my dad's parents, my Grandpa and Grandma Laing, and to the legacy they've built. I'm going to try to make this short--I'm starting to believe that less really is more, in blogs and in life. In fact, I heard a quote recently that said something like "Forgive me, I didn't have time to write you a shorter note," point being that it's often more powerful and more meaningful not when you wax eloquent and long-winded, but when you choose your words carefully and put more thought into actually saying LESS (I think it was by Tennyson or Emerson; I'll try to find the exact quote and author and share them with you later....). Me? I'm still working on brevity myself.

My paternal grandfather, though, William ("Bill") Charles Laing and his bride of 68 years, my grandmother, Grace Scott Laing, are two of my idols and with very good reason. Their legacy is one to be proud of, and they are. They raised 7 children (1 daughter and 6 boys; Grandpa Bill used to always say they had "one-and-a-half-dozen kids"), they have about 40 grandchildren or so and I lose track of how many great-grandchildren (several dozen). I mean, my parents only had 3 kids but they have 17 grandchildren between us, if you can imagine (my sister has 8 of her own)! With six more aunts and uncles and lots of married cousins, well ... you can probably do the math.

Grandpa has cancer now--he's riddled with tumors and Grandma can barely remember her name; she definitely does not remember yours when you go visit. It's actually kind of endearing at times (she's a lot sweeter these days). I went and visited them a couple weeks ago and she kept asking for pictures with names on them and telling us how they used to call her "Great Scott!" whenever they saw her back in school many years ago.

I mention them on this blog, and tell you they're my idols, because they have lived a life FULL of service and caring and unconditional love. When I was a senior in high school I remember many a basketball or soccer game where they were the only ones there cheering me on (my parents didn't even make it, usually). My granddad, especially, has been a pillar of honor, truth and service all his life.

Trust me, Grandma was not the easiest mother, wife or matriarch to grow up with, I'll freely admit. Passionate about her family, the gospel, and her nutrition and lingerie business (she sold "intimates" out of her home for a company, I forget the name), she was also pretty batty at times, pretty cranky at others and just not very healthy; she had blackouts about every 60 days or so, which were trying I know. But Grandpa Bill looked after her and looked AT her, and has for almost seven decades now, as the beautiful, perfect young woman he married. I've never once heard him complain, never once seen him lose his temper, never once even seen him roll his eyes over her frequent rants and ravings. No, he would just put his arms around her, compliment her cooking, help her up to bed and tuck her in for the night. He is and has been, for as long as I can remember, a SAINT--the most loving, faithful, and consistent person I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

He is the original "Deep River" and my inspiration to become that man. You would agree, if you knew him ... the epitome of Triumph. I personally believe that this is one of those key principles behind an inarguably Triumphant life: if you can't truly learn to serve ... if you can't truly be consistent ... if you tend to throw in the towel too easily, when things get tough or people aren't perfect around you ... if you can't overcome the hard things in life, even when they are closest to you? If you can't do these things, you can never expect to Triumph over life. And, not just this, but you will also never truly find the joy and satisfaction available to us all. Joy comes through endurance and patience and turning the other cheek, in my experience. It comes through loving those around us unconditionally (except in rare cases of abuse or neglect, of course; then we may love them but we may also exit for our sanity and safety and this is perfectly understood, and personal, of course).

I've watched my grandparents and I've see "Triumph" in their eyes. They have never been rich as to the things of this world, the material "needs" we all think we "need." But they are WEALTHY and they have been ... their entire lives. They may not have much, they may be running out of time--Grandpa is 96 and dying of cancer; Grandma is 90 and I can't imagine her hanging on long without him present in her life--but, they have lived their lives the way any of us would be proud to--FULLY. They have sucked the marrow out of life and built a legacy of which they can be proud. I know I am. I don't know anyone who knows them who isn't.

I appreciate you very much, you two. Don't know if you'll ever get on and read this post; probably not. But, that's okay. It's the thought that counts ... and I think you're both amazing.

Ever grateful,

Your eldest grandchild, John Patrick "River" Laing

Quotable Quote: Hunter S. Thompson

Though I'm not a huge fan of author, Hunter S. Thompson (he was a life-long alcoholic and drug addict and proud of it who eventually committed suicide in 2005 at the age of 67), the author of The Rum Diary (1998) and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1971) penned one of my favorite quotes of all time:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!" Hunter S. Thompson

The man embodied his own quote, and it is an insightful glimpse into the heart of the "Umpher," in my opinion. I ask you: did you THROW yourself into your relationships today, your passions, your hobbies, your kids? Did you worry less about scraped knees and stains on your clothing, or punctuality, or propriety ... than you did about the impact and even legacy you left? I hope not. That we too might embody this reminder, hopefully with healthier livers and less heartache / angst, is my hope for us all. Now I'm really going to bed.... Good night all you "Umphers" out there. I'm cheering for you....  JPR

Movie Review: Conviction

So ... I made a goal to write daily and now it's 5 minutes to midnight here (when I started writing; now it’s 1 am). Let me, just real quick, tell you about a movie I watched the other night starring Hillary Swank, Sam Rockwell and Minnie Driver. The movie is "Conviction," a powerful true story of Triumphing over enormous odds and a corrupt system that makes me shiver a little just thinking about it. Better yet, since it's late, I think I'm just going to cut and paste a segment from Wikipedia and a link to a really good trailer. I’ll wrap up with a few of my own personal thoughts:

"Conviction is based on the true story of Betty Anne Waters, a single mother who works tirelessly to free her wrongfully convicted brother Kenny. The story unfolds in flashbacks, and the film opens with the scene of a brutal murder in Massachusetts in 1980. We soon see that Betty Anne's life in many ways revolves around her brother, who is now in jail for the murder. Despite Kenny's knack for getting in trouble, they have always been close. Two years after his release as a suspect in the 1980 murder of Katharina Brow in Ayer, Massachusets, "new" testimony from two witnesses lead police to arrest Kenny and he is tried. Based on this circumstantial evidence, Kenny is convicted in 1983 of first degree murder and sentenced to life in prison without parole. The three main witnesses against him are Sergeant Nancy Taylor (Melissa Leo) from the local police department, his ex-wife, Brend (Clea DuVall), and his ex-girlfriend, Roseanna (Juliette Lewis).  

Three years later, Betty Anne lives with her husband, Rick (Loren Dean) and two sons, Richard and Ben. She is frantic that she has not heard from Kenny, who calls her every week, and she is finally told that he tried to commit suicide in prison. Betty Anne decides to go back to school and become a lawyer so she can free him, but her husband is skeptical and unsupportive, and eventually they split up. As Betty Anne struggles with being a working mother going to law school at Roger Williams University in Rhode Island, we see flashbacks of her life growing up with Kenny. Their mother was callous and uncaring, allowing her eight children (by seven different fathers) to grow up almost feral. Kenny and Betty Anne were very close, and used to break into neighborhood homes together just to feel like part of a normal family, until they were sent to separate foster homes. She continues to visit him, working in a bar while going to school, until her sons decide to move in with their Dad. Struggling in school, demoralized and exhausted, she stops going to classes, until a friend from school, played by Minnie Driver, comes to her house and prods her to just get up, get dressed, and get back to class.

In her study group, Betty Anne learns about the new field of DNA testing and realizes this could be the key to overturning Kenny's conviction. She contacts attorney Barry Scheck from the Innocence Project. The backlog of cases will mean waiting more than a year unless she can pass the bar and find the blood evidence from Kenny's trial herself to have it tested. At first she is stonewalled, then told the evidence was destroyed, but she refuses to give up, and she and her friend Abra (Minnie Driver) embark an an odyssey to recover any evidence that might still be stored away somewhere. At the time of the trial, Kenny's blood type was shown to be identical to the killer's but DNA testing didn't exist. In the process, Betty Anne learns from an acquaintance who is now a police officer that Nancy Taylor was fired from the police department for fabricating evidence in another case. This deepens Betty Anne's suspicions about Kenny's conviction and the "evidence" given at trial."

Finally the DNA results come back and "the survey says...."

I hate spoilers so I won't tell you how the movie turns out. You'll have to see it yourself if you want to. I will say ... there are some interesting twists as they navigate several challenging hurdles along the way. It's Rated R for a bloody murder scene at the beginning and for language (Sam Rockwell and his buddies, especially his co-inmates, make for an intriguing bunch....). If you can get past the f-bombs (I didn't appreciate them but they were true to form), the story is strong—one of the best I've seen about not caving to life's trials. The language is a little jarring, but the story is worth it. The characters are raw and the actors spot on. 


Watch the trailer:  http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi4273341977/

Quotable Quote: Albert Einstein

I'm realizing how easily life can get in the way when it comes to posting here on this blog consistently. It's difficult when you have a full time job, five children, a business and social life (though I can't say I have much of that these days; the first three keep me very busy). I want to make a commitment, though, today October 25, 2011, that even if it's 2 in the morning and even if it's just a short Quotable Quote like the one I'm sharing with you today, I'm going to post something before going to bed. I know people are enjoying this blog. I'm hearing lots of good feedback. But I need to make sure it's consistent, even if brief. I commit to you to do this with very rare exceptions (if I ever miss it will be for an unavoidable reason like I'm in the hospital, or one of my kids is, or we're on vacation with no Internet, or something like that).

I'm working on several longer posts upcoming--one about my 90+ year-old grandparents, ("Bill and Grace Laing: A Quiet Legacy...."), another about Steve Jobs, founder of Apple ("Our Own Leonardo Davinci...."), a review of a fantastic book I'm reading that you may have read entitled Leadership and Self Deception ("The True Challenge: Triumph Over Ourselves...." I should finish it later this week), a couple of movie reviews and several others I think you'll enjoy and benefit from.

Right now ... I'm dashing out the door to my job as a regional sales trainer here in the Pacific Northwest. I'll write more about that as well, later, but let me send you off for now with a great reminder quote.... Albert Enstein once said, "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." I really like that. A clear characteristic of Triumphant thinkers and doers is their resilience and persistence, their "stick-to-it-ive-ness," as some call it. They just keep on getting back up. We all get discouraged, delayed and knocked down at times. What matters most is what happens next. Those who Triumph get up, dust themselves off, learn from their mistakes, and "get back on that horse" (or bicycle, in this case). They do so with renewed focus, determination and usually a good dose of wisdom and maturity as well.

Resiliency is a wonderful though often painfully-acquired attribute or trait. I hope we can all learn it and develop it more in our lives, and understand it better, hopefully without too much heartache along the way.

I'm off.... Hey, travel safe out there. Talk again soon. JPR

Famous Failures: YouTube clip

We don't always get to choose what life hands us. On the contrary, most of us go through trials, heartaches, loss and adversity throughout our lives, even when we're "good people." Life doesn't care. It's all part of our "college experience" here on earth.... The question is: what do we do with our trials; do we control them or do we let them control us. Sure, they MOLD us ... but they don't have to CONTROL us. This is one more characteristic of people who Triumph over life.  

The following YouTube clip, entitled Famous Failures, echos this truth. 

If you've never failed, you've never lived. LIFE EQUALS RISK. What will you do with it...? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6hz_s2XIAU&noredirect=1